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If you’ve nabbed yourself a high-paying corporate job, then there’s a good chance that an employer will ask you to undertake a urine drug test. This is a hotly debated topic over civil liberties, but the fact of the matter is that employers have a right to ask current or prospective employees to undergo a drug screen.
This may pose a huge threat to a great number of prospective or current employees, especially those who have consumed drugs or other prohibited substances recently. Even though you may enjoy the occasional weekend rager, this can negatively affect your employment prospects, and if you’re caught by a drug test, then you can wave goodbye to your employment contract.
In order to circumvent a mandated urinalysis without having to give up their enjoyment of certain substances, many people have resorted to all sorts of solutions; buying someone else’s urine, using synthetic urine, and even having a close family member take the test for them.
Why Synthetic Urine Is the Best
Now, if you’re facing an upcoming drug test and you’ve recently indulged in prohibited substances, then you may be tempted to ask a close friend or family member to give you a sample of their urine to replace yours. This can backfire very badly.
Firstly, you need to understand that certain substances can stay in your system for a very long time and that there is no guarantee—save for monitoring your accomplice’s habits—that their urine will test clean as well. It is also completely possible that your friend or family member’s urine has different hormones than what is expected to be in your urine, and that can pose a huge red flag.
The best solution for this is to buy a good synthetically produced urine(we’ve covered the best fake urine kits here). It may be a bit expensive to get quality fake pee, but desperate times justify desperate measures.
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What’s the Catch?
You should be aware that urine tests have become very intrusive and advanced over the years. These days, if your pee is not at the right temperature, that counts as a red flag. Sometimes, someone will even go into the bathroom with you to witness the sample of urine being delivered to make sure that you’re not pulling any funny business.
Short of a very painful and possibly dangerous procedure called an “oil change,” which involves sticking a catheter up your urethra and injecting your bladder with clean piss, there are very few options left if someone’s going to be staring at your junk while you deliver a urine sample.
Fortunately, there are some solutions to this problem, and one of them is called The Urinator.
What’s the Urinator?
The Urinator is a device that is, simply put, a delivery system for fake piss. This device is used to deliver your synthetic pee solution in as discreet and natural a manner as possible. This device is small and concealable, making it a good option if you’re looking for something that won’t arouse too much suspicion.
The Urinator is a pouch attached to a tube and a heating element. It sounds simple because it is. The pouch holds the urine solution, and the tube is used to both fill the pouch and empty it. The heating element is there to keep the solution at an ideal temperature.
It is important to note that the Urinator does not look like a penis at all, which makes it possible for both men and women to use this device. However, the tube that is used to deliver the synthetic pee is more concealable if you hide it under your penis, which makes it a bit harder for women to avail of its possible stealthy application.
The Urinator is also battery powered but does not come shipped with a battery, so you’ll have to find your own 9-volt battery in order to power the heating element.
How Do You Use The Urinator?
Using the Urinator is a fairly simple affair—theoretically. On paper, it’s as simple as filling up the Urinator pouch with synthetic urine, going to your drug test, emptying it out, and walking off with a clean drug test under your belt.
In practice, it may not be that easy. It can take a few tries before you get the proper technique down to conceal the Urinator tube under your genitals or to empty the pouch at a natural speed. It can take a couple tries to get it down perfectly, so it is recommended to practice with water first. Some people may also find difficulty hiding the pouch itself on their person, but if you’re wearing pants or a suitably thick shirt or sweater, it becomes much easier.
Everything you need to properly use the Urinator is included in the package, except for the battery. A synthetic urine solution is included with the Urinator, so you can use that or another synthetic urine. First, you have to fill the Urinator pouch using the included syringe. Next, attach the battery to the heating element and wait for your synthetic pee to heat up. Then, test the solution on the included temperature test strips to ensure that you’re at the right temp. Lastly, go on over to the drug testing facility and empty the contents of the Urinator into the piss cup.
Here’s a pro tip: If someone goes into the bathroom with you and tries to sneak a peek at your junk, you can tell them that they’re not supposed to directly observe your genital area, and they can only be in the bathroom with you.
All in all, the Urinator is a good solution to a problem that has plagued many party-goers. It may not be the most subtle solution, but its effectiveness and ease of use are nothing to scoff at. Though the included “Rapid Clear” synthetic solution is not the best synthetic pee out there, the Urinator itself has proven to be a suitably stealthy and effective device.
With that said, the Urinator does have its fair share of issues. So if you’re looking for something made with a little more care and attention, I recommend the Monkey Dong and Monkey Whizz—you might laugh at the name, but they’re both extremely reliable products.