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Let’s say that you’re a woman undergoing a drug test. It’s a supervised drug test, one where the lab tech is watching you to be sure you’re not pulling any fakery about providing your urine sample. Of course, you’re not giving them your actual sample; it’s a bit of fake urine you purchased, to be sure you get the pass you need. But since you’re being supervised, how do you put the fake pee into the sample cup without being found out?
The usual response to that is to buy a fake urinator kit; basically a fake penis with an attached reservoir that does the peeing for you, so that the lab tech is never suspicious that you’re not giving your real urine. The problem is obvious, however: you’re a woman, you don’t have a penis to fake! So what are you going to do when it’s your turn to be supervised for your drug test?
That’s where female fake urine kits come in.
Overview: The Female Whizz Kit
Strictly speaking, it’s officially named the Whizz Kit and is listed as such on the official website. However, it’s also named the Female Whizzinator on its product page. No surprise; men usually go for the penis-shaped Whizzinator.
Boiled down to its essentials, it’s a cotton elastic belt with an attached vinyl pouch that holds your fake urine, and a tube to dispense it with. The pouch holds 3 ounces of fluid and comes pre-filled with ALS’ Golden Shower synthetic urine. Also included in the box are two heat pads, a temperature strip, a 60ml syringe to fill up the pouch, and an instruction sheet.
Ignore all the verbiage on the site about fetish play and everything related to it; we all know what the real business is. Usage is pretty simple: make sure the two clips are locked, then secure the belt around yourself. Cover it with clothing, then when the time comes, take out the tube, release the clips, and the pouch drains itself.
This makes for a very subtle setup. There’s virtually no way for the lab tech to figure out what you’re doing unless they’re looking right up your business, which is not required of most supervised tests. To be completely sure, practice with the rig first before you have to use it for real. You can also cut down the rubber tube to make it less conspicuous, though it’s recommended that you only do this on the day of the test because there’s a possibility that bacteria can grow on the cut end.
The heating pads are there to warm the urine up to the correct temperature. Remember, urine has to be kept at a temperature range of 94 to 100 degrees to be accepted by the lab techs. Outside of that range, and it’ll be rejected. Since the belt is held close to the body, your body heat will keep it warm, so all you need to do is to get it to the right temperature. Just take the fluid pouch off, activate the heat pad and affix it to the belt, then stick the pouch back on top of the heat pad. That’ll need about forty-five minutes to an hour to get to the right temperature, so allow enough time for that. The pad will be effective for about eight hours, so you have plenty of time.
Golden Shower Urine
Of course, the Female Whizzinator is just the delivery system. That’s why they also include ALS Golden Shower synthetic urine. The Whizz Kit box already comes with pre-made Golden Shower in the fluid pouch; further refills of Golden Shower come in dehydrated form. It’s got a pretty good shelf life, lasting a year while still dehydrated. All you need to do to prepare it is mix it with 2.5 to 3 ounces of distilled water, then put it into the fluid pouch using the syringe.
Since the Whizz Kit comes conveniently pre-filled with Golden Shower, it’s easy to consider just showing up to the test and using it as your best fake urine. But then you have to ask, how effective is Golden Shower in the first place?
On the whole, not very. It’ll get you through a cursory test – but most tests these days will look for the markers of synthetic urine while also looking for ingredients present in natural pee. Golden Shower falls short in the latter arena, and so cannot be recommended for anyone really.
However, there’s nothing that says that you have to use Golden Shower. You can just as easily switch in another type of synthetic urine if you trust it more; and frankly, considering Golden Shower’s qualities, if you plan on using the Whizz Kit, it’s best to use something else. For that purpose, we recommend Quick Fix. It’s got all the necessary ingredients that make it look like real urine, and its formula has been updated several times to make sure it’s still ahead of the curve.
The main problem of the Female Whizzinator is that it’s just ALS’ own Whizzinator, only without the fake penis. Build quality and accessories are the same, with all the accompanying problems. The vinyl fluid pouch has a nasty habit of leaking, which sinks your chances near instantly when it happens. The heating pads are also less than reliable, which also leads to a failed test if the pads can’t get the fake urine heated up.
With these issues of build quality and the shortcomings of Golden Shower, we simply cannot recommend the Whizz Kit for use in dodging a drug test. It’s too chancy a product, and even if you switch out the Golden Shower for a more reliable brand, the equipment troubles can still destroy your chances before you ever provide your sample. There’s no point taking your chances when the stakes are as high as they are; we recommend you look elsewhere.
The good news is that the Female Whizzinator is not the only female urination kit on the market. Our recommended product over it is Monkey Whizz; while it’s basically the same thing (a belt-and-bag setup worn under the clothing with a tube to dispense), the build quality is much better, and you won’t find yourself with cold urine dripping into your pants. You don’t want to take chances when it’s your job on the line, so don’t skimp out; get yourself something that works.
Get your Monkey Whizz right here!